Hi everyone, Welcome back! How's your weekend been so far? No complaints on this end. As far as we can tell, today's New England Patriots game against the San Francisco 49ers is still happening, so that's nice. I'm going to hop on the treadmill at some point before that to start getting back into an exercise routine. Nothing crazy, maybe just a brisk 30-minute walk. I could do it outside, but it would be nice not to have to worry about being around other people for a bit. After consulting with my trainers (BDH and Little Buddha), I'm counting on... Read more →

The news about the coronavirus is stressing me out a bit, so I asked myself the age-old question: What would Ozzy Osbourne say in this situation?" (Do you ask yourself a different question during times of crisis?) I like to think his answer would be something like this: (All due apologies to the Prince of Darkness.) To the tune of "Crazy Train." Corona, causing a scare Turn on the news and, there's new cases everywhere Maybe, it will finally leave If we just stop wiping, our noses on our sleeves We don't dare shake hands It's so scary to sneeze... Read more →

We offer this song in tribute to the glory and the chaos that is known as "Allston Christmas," which takes place on September 1. Sing along, won't you? "Allston Christmas is Coming to Town" You're moving your stuff Pack it all nice Watch out for all the scurrying mice Allston Christmas is coming to town The students were gone But now they're all back It feels like we are under attack Allston Christmas is coming to town The couch you leave outside Won't stay there very long The only thing that would go faster Would be a brand new bong... Read more →

Here stands before you, Little D He always wonders, "Why does no one like me?" First, you're a puppet, as we all can see Did Putin really trap you with prostitute pee? Your racist and sexist lies also make good people angry A decent person you'll never be Our country is eager to be set free For that, we would pay a hefty fee We all wait anxiously To see you resign in disgrace on live TV The day you leave will fill us all with glee It's time to go now, Little D The one they call "Little D."... Read more →

With all apologies to Guns N' Roses... "Patience 2017 (Trump Style)" 1,2,1,2,3,4 [whistle] So here we are now about six months Into this awful mess I can't really believe you're still here Thought Election Night was a mistake But you are still on my TV It's time we get you the hell Out of here Come on Donnie, you've got to go Your time is almost up The country is running out of patience Said Donnie, let's go now You have got to leave The country is running out of patience (patience) Mm, Yeah I sit here reading the news... Read more →

If you’re a fraud and you know it, clap your (small) hands If you’re a fraud and you know it, clap your (small) hands If you’re a fraud and you know it, huge national protests will surely show it If you’re a fraud and you know it, clap your (small) hands If Russians helped you win, clap your (small) hands If Russians helped you win, clap your (small) hands If they track all that you do, and now they own you If Russians helped you win, clap your (small) hands If you’re an abusive thug towards women, clap your (small)... Read more →

Folks, I beg your indulgence here. I wrote this "song" as a present to try to cheer up a friend who is having a bit of a rough stretch right now. I would have just sent it directly to that individual, but it occurs to me that a few of you might also find it helpful. Apologies to anyone who might be offended by the naughty language, but there's really no other way to properly express the theme. This should vaguely be song along to the tune of Air Supply's classic "All Out of Love," but it's possible I lost... Read more →