Monday Clutter: Ron DeSantis, George Santos, California Shooting, NFL Notes, Boston Red Sox, Michael J. Fox, Pamela Anderson, Chicago Fire, Tori Amos, and more
Welcome back, and a happy Monday to you all. How was the rest of your weekend? Everything was fine on this end, but I may have been a little too nonchalant about today's snowstorm. One of the first sounds I heard when I woke up this morning was snow falling off the roof. It took a while and sounded heavy. That's never a good sign. I should probably look for the Advil before going outside.
Of course, BDH and Little Buddha have already found two positives here: 1) Today's to-do list is pretty short, with the primary focus being trying to stay on top of the shoveling throughout the day, without overdoing it. 2) The forecast now calls for the snow to start tapering off around 6:00 tonight, not 10:00 like before. We can work with that.
First, let's check out the headlines. The guys made coffee, so grab yourself a nice medium DD, because it's time to clear out some Clutter.
Anti-abortion voters appear to be infatuated with Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. That's a major problem for Donald Trump, because these people make up one of the biggest voting blocs of the GOP. If Trump can't win them back, his 2024 campaign is doomed. It's also a reminder that while yesterday was the 50th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision, Republicans have no intention of stopping their war on women, despite overturning Roe last year. It's one of the top ways they turn out their base. The fanatical crusade also doesn't stop with abortion. These folks are after contraception, sex education, and anything else they can find to keep women as economically insecure as possible.
Governor DeSantis is the GOP's shiny new toy. (pic via clickorlando.com)
Jeff Zients will reportedly replace Ron Klain as the White House chief of staff at some point in the next few weeks. We don't know a lot about Zients, but a millionaire who used to be a Facebook board member doesn't sound promising.
We said last week that SNL should bring back Jon Lovitz as pathological liar Tommy Flanagan to meet the great fraud, Rep. George Santos. The Late Night with Jimmy Fallon thought it would be easier to just have Lovitz play Santos:
It was awful to hear about the shooting in California that left 10 people who were celebrating the Lunar New Year dead on Saturday. Now the police are looking for a motive, after the suspect, 72-year-old Huu Can Tran killed himself during a stand-off with authorities. We send our condolences to the families of those who died, as well as those who were injured. We can't help thinking this story won't last in the press for a week, because our nation is drowning in gun violence, and the next terrible story could easily be right around the corner. "Thoughts and prayers" aren't going to fix this crisis. We need real action.
The Clutter investment team hates articles like this one which ask when is the "safe" time to get back into the stock market. The question itself is fundamentally flawed. Trying to time the market is a losing bet. You should be prepared to hold onto stock purchases for at least five years, so it doesn't matter if things are "safe" in the next few days, weeks, or months. If you want to invest, do it today and settle in for the long-term.
Vice Media is for sale. Do you want to go in on a bid with BDH and Little Buddha? According to the linked article, the company slashed its asking price, so now it's expected to go for less than $1 billion. That's still a little above our coffee budget, but if we all pool our resources, we could make these guys an offer. (Also, don't worry, Clearing out the Clutter isn't going anywhere. However, we are always accepting donations for our coffee budget. Check out the links at the bottom of your screen.)
We went 2-for-2 in our NFL divisional round playoff picks yesterday. That makes us 3 -for-4 for the weekend. This gambling stuff is easy. Oh, we're supposed to factor in the spread? Never mind:
The Cincinnati Bengals beat the Buffalo Bills 27-10 in a dominating performance yesterday. Quarterback Joe Burrow and the Cincinnati offense set the tone early, scoring two quick touchdowns in the first quarter. The Bengals ended up with 412 total yards, and had a balanced running and passing attack, as they were clearly unfazed by playing in snowy Buffalo. The Bills struggled to move the ball all day against Cincy's defense, with quarterback Josh Allen going 25 for 42 for 265 yards, no TD's and one interception to end the game. Is this the beginning of the end of Buffalo's playoff window?
The Bengals now move on to face the Kansas City Chiefs in a AFC Championship Game rematch next week. Cincinnati has won their last three games against Kansas City, and a fourth consecutive victory seems likely. The Bengals are missing several starting offensive linemen, but that didn't slow them down yesterday. With Kansas City's Patrick Mahomes reportedly dealing with a high ankle sprain, we see Cincinnati heading back to the Super Bowl for the second straight year.
Meanwhile, the San Francisco 49ers beat the Dallas Cowboys 19-12 in the evening game, which is great on a couple of fronts: 1) The Cowboys were the only playoff team we were actively rooting against. They may be the most over-hyped franchise in American sports, so we're happy to see them go home early yet again. 2) It's hard to beat the story of "Mr. Irrelevant" Brock Purdy leading the 49ers to the NFC Championship Game against the Philadelphia Eagles next week.
The 49ers were such a soap opera in the offseason with their Trey Lance/Jimmy G. drama. It seemed like the whole thing was sure to collapse when both quarterbacks got hurt, but then here comes Purdy to save the season. Mind you, the 49ers don't depend on their quarterback to be much more than competent, but the rookie has seemed completely unfazed by his situation. We're pulling for a Bengals - 49ers Super Bowl to see him go against "Mr. Cool" himself, Joe Burrow.
It looks like the Boston Red Sox plan to start the season with Kiké Hernández at shortstop and Christian Arroyo at second base. That's fine, although Arroyo has problems staying healthy every year, so we'll see how long that lasts. This team has little depth, so we're looking for more moves to be made over the next few weeks.
Boston Red Sox rookie first baseman Triston Casas said he's open to talking to the team about a long-term deal. Let's tap the brakes on this one for a bit. The guy has promise, but he's only played 27 games in the big leagues. Give us at least a full season before we start talking about locking him down for the next seven+ years.
We'd like to see the upcoming documentary about Michael J. Fox's battle with Parkinson's disease. However, it's coming out on Apple TV+, so we'll have to wait for it to eventually land on another platform.
Pamela Anderson alleges in her upcoming memoir that Tim Allen flashed her on the Home Improvement set in 1991. Allen denies it, but we'll side with the actress on this one. The book comes out next Tuesday, so that will be something for us to consider when we make our weekly trip to the bookstore.
Not sure what's going on here, but Taylor Kinney is reportedly taking a leave of absence from Chicago Fire to deal with a personal matter. Kinney's Kelly Severide is one of the key characters in the show, so his absence will definitely be felt. Hopefully he'll be back soon.
We've been talking for a while about wanting to see former Lucifer star Tom Ellis in a new project, and apparently this is it. He recently appeared on a karaoke contest show where there's a punishment for getting a line wrong. This feels like the kind of game show you'd see in a movie about an actor who has had it with the entertainment industry, but we'll take what we can get:
Okay kids, that's going to do it for now. This feels like a week that needs a relaxed start, so here's Tori Amos to close things out with, "Winter" for today's, "Song of the Day."
Thanks for stopping by, everyone. It was great to see you, as always. Enjoy the rest of your day, take your time shoveling the heavy snow, and we'll catch up with you again soon. Until next time, that's today's Clearing out the Clutter, and we are outta here.
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