Everyone knows that Clearing out the Clutter runs on Dunkin' Donuts (DD) coffee.  There's no way we'd be able to function without our morning caffeine infusion.  Fun fact:  Some members of our staff also like beer.  Not like Brett Kavanaugh enjoys beer or anything, but we've been known to have an occasional beverage in the evening.  That's why we knew we'd have to research the new Harpoon Dunkin' Coffee Porter and share the results with all of you.  Does a "classic porter" mix with DD's espresso-blend coffee?  Let's see.

Mind you, we are not beer experts.  We know what we like, and our reviews usually break down into, "good" or "bad," because really, that's what matters.  However each bottle (which has a 6%ABV) has several categories marked off like a DD cup, so let's take a look at each of those and rank them on a scale of 1-10.  (Your results may differ.)

Note:  We poured the first bottle into a New England Patriots beer mug we keep in the freezer.  This was a mistake.  The bitterness was overpowering, and if anything, the beer tasted like a bad soda.  The next test used a regular glass at room temperature, which we recommend.

Categories (as described on the bottle)

Color: Dark Brown/Black

No argument here.  Give it a 10.

Aroma: Espresso/Dark Chocolate

We were expecting a much stronger aroma, and one could say that there's some faint hint of espresso, but that dark chocolate was nowhere to be found.   This gets a 5.

Taste:  Roasty/Malty/Smooth

This beer tastes like a mild and bitter cup of black coffee.   That's how our staff drinks our DD, so we were fine with that, but it seemed a little surprising that Harpoon wouldn't make it a little sweeter.  We accidentally left some of the final beer in the glass, and when we returned after about 20 minutes, the coffee taste had increased significantly.  It is a smooth beer which goes down easily, so the question boils down to how the person drinking it feels about the bitterness.  We'll give this a 7.5.

Final Score:

This beer got a 22.5 out of 30, which works out to 75%.  We would give the taste a little more weight over the aroma, so let's say it's between a 75-80, and that sounds about right.  Harpoon Dunkin' Coffee Porter is a competent beer.  There's no reason to rush out the door to find it, besides curiosity.  On the other hand, if you like porters and like the taste of a black coffee which comes with a kick, this will take care of you for the night.

More of a novelty than a must-have.  (pic via foodandwine.com)