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Tuesday Clutter

Hi everyone,

Welcome back!  How are you?  We missed you guys yesterday.  I'm sorry we couldn't hang out, but it's all been such a blur since I got back from Baltimore.  How was yesterday?  My day started with my work computer not working, and it ended with my dry cleaning falling off the hanger while I ran home during the thunderstorm, so yeah, that was a fun Monday.  I feel like it was bad karma from not getting to hang out with you.  We're looking to avoid a repeat today, so help yourself to a nice medium DD, and let's clear out a little Tuesday Clutter.

Clutterheads, we spend a decent amount of time here talking about the stock market.  As I always say, if you have enough time, throw in your cash to a low-cost index fund, and don't worry about the short-term noise.  Now, I trust that you would find my honest in my advice anyway, but I want to take a moment to show that I am putting my money where my mouth is. 

I'm about to come into a small amount of money that was unexpected.  As soon as the check clears, I'll immediately put 27% into my IRA (into several, you guessed it, low-cost index funds), 54% into two savings accounts (a "life happens" and "emergency" account), and then keep the rest in my checking account for some fun purchase soon.  I have no idea what the stock market is going to do this week.  Maybe it will surge the day I put in this money, or  maybe it will drop 2% but I'm not worried about it, since I still have a long time to let things play out.  You can't capitalize on gains if you're not invested.  My only point here is is that I wouldn't advise you to do something I'm not willing to do myself.

Agree or disagree with his NSA-related leaks, Edward Snowden is on to something when he says it's "an honor" to be called a traitor by Dick Cheney.  When the war criminal objects to you, you're likely on a good path.

One of the only things that I can imagine that would be worse than having a penile implant give you an eight month-long erection is going to court, publicly describing the embarassment you've gone through, and have the jury rule against you.

It's been a little while since we had ourselves a good Jimmy Hoffa search.

I forgot to mention this in Sunday's Clutter, I got a kick out of the fact that every member of the Baltimore Orioles lineup came to bat in Saturday's game against the Boston Red Sox with WWE theme songs for entrance music.  We had "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, the Ultimate Warrior,  "the Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase, John Cena, Bret "the Hitman" Hart, and more.  That's a trend I'd be happy to see extend to every team.

Sorry, I'm late with this one too, but Peter Abraham had a nice Father's Day piece about going to baseball games with his dad.  Check it out.

Is New York Yankees first baseman Mark Teixeira heading back to the disabled list because of his nagging wrist injury?  Listen, I have nothing personal against almost anyone on this team, but I do get a laugh out of the idea that New York has over $100 million sitting on the shelf.  I know, I should be bigger than that, but I'm just not there yet.

Even if this trade between the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Clippers doesn't work out, won't Celtics head coach Doc Rivers have to leave at this point?  It's clear he's not fully committed to the team, and that's fine, and his right, but how awkward is this?

Doc rivers
Everything ends at some point.  (pic via

I don't know if this is 1970 or 2013, but Black Sabbath is back on top of the charts, baby!

Was actor Jeff Garlin really arrested for a fight over a parking space, or is this just a new episode of "Curb your Enthusiasm?"  If it wasn't, you have to think it will eventually be a storyline, right?

I'm watching this trailer for The Wolf of Wall Street, and the thing I'm struck most by is how incredibly unhealthy Matthew McConaughey looks.  Eat something, man!


Okay kids, that's going to do it for now.  Let's have Ozzy, Tony Iommi and Geezer Butler bring the goods and close things out with today's, "Song of the Day."


Thanks for stopping by, everyone.  It was great to see you, as always.  Enjoy the rest of your day, and feel free to come back again soon.  You know you're always welcome at Clutter Headquarters.  However, for now, that's today's Clutter, and we are outta here.


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