I Can Feel Change in the Air
90 Seconds I'd Love to Have

What's That in the Mirror?

He’s Got Legs
I’ve been weightlifting, on and off, for the better part of twenty years (I know, I’m huge). I’ve noticed a growing trend at the gym in the last few years-many guys refuse to do leg workouts. The end result is that I frequently see these blocks of humanity who must have at least 50-100lbs on me, but it’s all in their chests, and they have toothpick legs. A strong breeze could tip them right over.

I don’t understand this. Why do we have such a problem grasping the idea that it’s just as important to exercise from the waist down as it is from the waist up? The only thing I can imagine is that when guys look in most mirrors, they can only see from the waist up. Apparently, if it’s not in the mirror, it just doesn’t count. It's called a leg press, guys. Look into it.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
I’m 35 years old, and my hair started thinning when I was 22. I still remember when I discovered this. I was looking at a picture of me at a campaign event, and I thought, “That’s weird. Why does my hair look so bad? It must have been bad lighting.” I looked at the next picture, and it was the same thing. I looked in the mirror (where I couldn’t see my legs), and it all of a sudden hit me. “Holy crap, is my hair thinning?” I went to a doctor shortly thereafter, and he confirmed it. I was floored.

I also got the first white hair in my goatee when I was about 26 years old. My former boss pointed it out as we were driving to a meeting. I was startled, but still feeling self-conscious about my scalp, quickly decided, hey as long as it stays with me, I don’t care what color it is. These days, there’s a solid sprinkling of white across my chin. That's cool. It's distinguished right? Sure, except that I'm too young to look distinguished!

I started thinking about it and going through a number of pictures of my friends, and I dare say at this point that most of the guys have either/both of these problems. Where did this come from? I’ve seen pictures of my dad at my age--good head of hair and none of it white. Same for my mom’s dad (I never remember who you’re supposed to follow for these things). They’re both fine! What happened here?

It’s bad enough that I’m not nearly as tall as my 6’3” father (probably the most crushing aspect of puberty). Why do I, and all of these other guys, look like we’re about 15 years older than we are? Is it chemicals in the food? Is it the stress of life? Global warming? Something that I can blame on the Bush Administration? What the hell happened? It's just not right. I demand a recount/refund/something!


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