Hi everyone,
Okay, let's have a show of hands, who thought yesterday was February 22nd? Just me? That's cool. Apparently I needed more coffee to be able to read the calendar correctly. However, there's no confusion over the fact that today is Friday, so grab yourself a medium DD, and let's wrap up the week with a little Clutter.
Congratulations to Maryland for being on track to be the eighth state to approve marriage equality. The bill has passed the legislature, and Governor Martin O'Malley has said he will sign it. Of course, the soon-to-be-law will be challenged by the same people who still have yet to prove how same-sex marriage has harmed a single heterosexual marriage.
Jon Huntsman is clearly not thrilled the GOP these days. First he got crushed in the primaries, then he had to endorse his nemesis Mitt Romney (a fact that neither of them seemed at all excited about), and now he's calling for a third party candidate. I wonder if he has anyone particular in mind.
Probably not this year's Republican VP nominee. (pic via mediate.com)
What's Rick Santorum's biggest weakeness in the eyes of the GOP base? Certainly not his regressive views on women, or the imposition of his extreme religious beliefs into the presidential primary. Heck, those help him. No, his biggest problem is his past endorsement of former Senator Arlen Specter. Said one Republican operative when describing the situation, "We’ll forgive incompetence, but not Arlen," which is interesting, because I'd have a much easier time forgiving an endorsement than incompetence when it comes to the leader of the country.
Worse than incompetence? (pic via pennlive.com)
Representative John Sullivan (R-Oklahoma) apologized for saying he'd have to kill some Senators to get a budget passed. It was still one of those weak, "I apologize to anyone who was offended" statements, but I'm actually impressed that he didn't try to pass it off as a joke and tell his critics to lighten up, which so typically seems to be the Republican defense for comments like this. It's sad that's where the bar is set these days.
House Democrats held their own hearing on contraception yesterday, and in a stunning development, a woman was allowed to testify.
Boston Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine doesn't seem to have much use for team captains, thankfully.
We made fun of Boston Red Sox reliever Bobby Jenks earlier in the week for being a complete waste of money last year, and we might thrown in a snarky comment about not being that disappointed that he won't be pitching again any time soon (I know, Clutter snarky? Get outta here.) However, after reading that Jenks had to battle potentially life-threatening complications from back surgery in the off-season, we're going to lay off the big guy for the time being and wish him a drama-free recovery from this point forward.
NL MVP Ryan Braun became the first big league player to have a positive drug test overturned. The primary defense was that there was a chain of custody issue for 48 hours, but that still doesn't explain exactly how that led to Braun's specimen showing extremely elevated testosterone levels. Not a good day for Major League Baseball.
Is new Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim slugger Albert Pujols already mad at his new team?
New York Jets coach Rex Ryan isn't dumb enough to predict another Super Bowl win after his team went 8-8 this year.
Dear Mittens, you know things aren't going well when you get shot down by Seinfeld's George Costanza. Speaking of which, New York magazine has several Seinfeld quotes that apply to Romney.
Not endorsing Romney. (pic via blackheartgoldpants.com)
Comedian Bill Maher is jumping into the Super PAC game, giving a pro-Obama PAC one million dollars.
Somewhere around a month ago, I found myself wondering whatever happened to Paris Hilton. I can't remember why now...I think it had something to do with her former friends the Kardashians. Anyway, I haven't heard her mentioned in years at this point, but after hearing her latest "Drunk Text," I'd be fine with going few more years before she comes up again.
Is Abby Elliot leaving SNL? Clearly she doesn't have much of a future on the show if they're willing to let her out of her contract to star in a comedy on Fox. I wonder if it has anything to do with her split with SNL castmate Fred Armisen. Anyway, good luck to her on that, she's a funny woman who should get more face time on TV.
Abby Elliott (pic via zimbio.com)
Okay kids, that's going to do it for now. I can't get the new Paris Hilton clip out of my head. Is this an actual song, because it sounds more like rambling to me. It's really hard to argue that there's any "singing" taking place here. I suddenly find myself twitching a little bit. Check out today's, "Song/Clip/Train wreck of the Day" for yourself and let me know what you think:
Drunk Text Music Video from Craig Raby on Vimeo.
Okay kids, that's going to do it for now. Thanks for stopping by, it was great to see you as always. Have a good day, and if you're the person who rang the doorbell to Clutter Headquarters at 1:00 this morning, try stopping by a little earlier next time. BDH, Little Buddha and I are always happy to hang out, but we need our beauty rest. Be good, and we'll see you back here again for more fun soon. For now, that's the Clutter, and we are outta here.
Hi everyone,
Welcome back, how are you? We're (less than) a week away from Leap Day (someone can't do math), and Little Buddha's been trying to explain that concept to BDH all morning, but I don't think it's sinking in yet. Why don't we leave the two of them alone for now, grab a medium DD, and clear out some Clutter in the meantime. Sound good? Here we go...
The GOP wrapped up their first season of Crazy Debates last night in Arizona. No more debates are currently scheduled, but maybe they'll convince everyone to come back for a post-season wrap-up special hosted by Dr. Drew.
No one had a performance to be proud of last night, but Rick Santorum particularly demonstrated that he's not prepared for being the front-runner on any level. It remains a brutal indictment of Mitt Romney that Mittens couldn't put this guy away five months ago.
Santorum isn't holding back any of the crazy now, saying that teens were less sexually active before contraception was readily available. Meanwhile, Romney surrogate New Jersey Governor Chris Christie wants to make sure everyone knows Santorum thinks Satan is coming after us. You really couldn't make these stories up.
The Romney camp sent out an edited edition of an endorsement from the Detroit News, and the newspaper isn't happy about it at all. Turning an endorsement into a negative news story is an impressive trick.
Glad to hear that George Huguely was convicted of killing his ex girlfriend. He was described as an abusive thug, and may he serve every one of his 26 year sentence.
Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell (R) abandoned his support for the legislation recently approved by the Virginia House that would mandate a trans-vaginal ultrasound for women seeking an abortion, instead saying that it should be an abdominal one. (The same McDonnell whose master's theisis called working women "detrimental" to the family.) McDonnell clearly realized that the original bill would kill any chance he has of seeking higher office, and it's a step in the right direction, but the state shouldn't be mandating any procedure. This should be a situation between a woman and her doctor, and the state should recognize them both as competent adults. No matter how loudly Republicans scream about "small government," they can't resist a chance to interfere in reproductive health issues. It's a fetish, really.
McDonnell (pic via politico.com)
If you want to invest in the stock market, you're better off just buying an index fund than an actively-manged fund. The index funds consistently beat the majority of their active competitors, so why should you pay for someone's salary and marketing expenses for worse results?
A new paper suggests that eating gluten-free products may be a waste of money for people without celiac disease. The paper's authors say that the main problem is there's no set definition for "gluten sensitivity," so perhaps more research is needed.
Big Papi has arrived in spring training. So has the Laser Show, and they both sound ready to get down to business. It's amazing that David Ortiz is about to become the longest-tenured member of the Boston Red Sox, assuming that Jason Varitek is about to retire. Where does the time go? By the way, can we lose the whole "captain" notion this year? It's an idea whose time has come and gone, and with Varitek's expected pending retirement, let the concept go into the sunset with him.
Terry Francona and Manny Ramirez clearly don't exchange Christmas cards.
The Boston Celtics must be thrilled to have the All Star break now after losing 119-104 to the Oklahoma City Thunder last night. It was the 8th loss in 9 games for Boston, though Doc Rivers called it a, "team-building game." The Celtics are now off for the next six days, so they can rest up and figure out what they need to do to be relevant in the second half of the season.
I'm thrilled (and a little relieved) to hear that Eddie Van Halen is getting good reviews so far as Van Halen launches their tour. There have already been countless clips from the first few shows, thanks to the band allowing video cameras into the shows this time, and he sounds locked in. Can't wait to see for myself!
Uh oh, what's actor Sacha Baron Cohen threatening to do at the Oscars that has the Academy in such a tizzy?
Sacha Baron Cohen (pic via celebrity-gossip.net)
So sorry to hear that Seinfeld actor Daniel Von Bargen attempted to kill himself by shooting himself in the head. I hope that he comes through in one piece and can get some help after that.
Jennifer Aniston doesn't sound excited about a Friends reunion, but there's no way they won't do it at some point down the road.
Friends can't stay apart forever. (pic via epguides.com)
Okay kids, that's going to do it for now. President Obama was in the news a few weeks ago for singing an Al Green tune, and now he's back for more, singing Sweet Home Chicago with B.B. King and company at a recent White House concert. I'd say that's pretty cool, though I imagine the GOP would find a way to claim it's proof that he's a Muslim terrorist. Either way, it's today's, "Song of the Day," so check it out:
Thanks for stopping by, it was great to see you as always. Have a good day, and feel free to come back later today if you want to go to happy hour or to just hang out. We'll still be here trying to explain the concept of Leap Day. Otherwise, we'll see you again tomorrow for more fun and coffee. Until next time, that's the Clutter, and we are outta here.
Hi everyone,
Welcome back. How was your weekend? The coffee is just about ready, so grab yourself a medium DD, and let's clear out a little Clutter.
Without the Adelson family, Newt Gingrich would have returned to his "historian" roots months ago.
A new poll shows Mitt Romney with a two point lead over Rick Santorum in Michigan as Mittens scrambles to avoid a potentially disasterous loss in his home state.
I sometimes wonder how headline writers keep a straight face while they work. This article asks, "As Rick Santorum campaigns on faith, family issues, could he alienate moderates?" Do you know what you call a moderate who isn't offended by Santorum? A radical conservative.
CNN commentator Dana Loesch says, what's the problem with Virginia's proposal to force women seeking abortion to submit to a state-mandated assault with a trans-vaginal ultrasound? I mean, it's not like they're virgins.
Dana Loesch (pic via addictinginfo.org)
Here's another example of our inability to deal with veterans who are struggling with mental health issues, as a depressed veteran may be prosecuted for his suicide attempt.
As of today, which member of the Boston Red Sox was the biggest winner from last September's collapse? My vote is for Dice-K. I was reading this article about his return from Tommy John surgery and realized that I don't have nearly my usual level of frustration about him right now. There are a number of active players ahead of him on my s&^t list right now, and he doesn't even top the list of disabled players, since I still wish bad things for John Lackey. Come the 2nd half of the season, I might even look forward to Dice-K's return, until his first start is 120 pitches, 7 hits, 8 runs and 5 walks in 4 2/3 innings, but for right now, he's okay.
Welcome back? (pic via pressherald.com)
Oh Theo, why did you stick us with reliever Bobby Jenks? Apparently he's not likely to return until mid-season. Jenks did nothing last year, with a 6.32 ERA in 19 games, and he consistently looked more freaked out than any reliever I've ever seen. Maybe it's for the best that he'll be out for a while longer, it's just a shame the Red Sox are responsible for his salary. Somewhere off in the distance, his former manager Ozzie Guillen can be heard laughing hysterically.
I'm looking forward to watching Carl Crawford play like he's got something to prove this year, once he recovers from wrist surgery. He's far too talented to have another disastrous season like he did in 2011, and a return to form would be the equivalent of the Red Sox making a major trade for a left fielder this off-season.
Oakland A's fans don't have a lot to be excited about this year, but at least they can watch "Manny being Manny," as soon as Ramirez serves out his 50 game suspension. Let's see, I think we'll set the over/under on Manny's home runs this year at...23.5. What's your bet?
Meanwhile, the Albert Pujols era has begun in Anaheim. Let's set his over/under for home runs this year at...79.5...or maybe 40.5. Yeah, let's go with that instead.
Is this the final year for New York Yankees closer Mariano Rivera?
Is Peyton Manning moving to Monday Night Football? I hope not. I know I said he should call it a career if his neck isn't fully recovered from all of his surgeries, but the guy always sounds like he's got a head cold. He may be a perfectly good analyst for all I know, but there's no way I'm listening to that voice for three straight hours.
WWE wrestler/Boston College alum Kofi Kingston gives his thoughts on the infamous dive bar Mary Ann's.
I disliked last week's episode of How I Met Your Mother, because I thought there were major plot problems with Robin and Kevin's break-up, and the notion of pairing Ted and Robin up seemed like a complete waste of time because we know Robin's not "the mother." Without giving anything away, in case you haven't seen it, HIMYM bounced back this week with another strong performance. The Ted/Robin issue was addressed, and it was a strong performance by every member of the cast. It really feels like we're watching a group of best friends tell their life story, and 99% of the time, the stories ring true. Well done.
Stephen Colbert returned to The Colbert Report last night after delivering a warm confidential message.
After yet another disappointing opening weekend, maybe Nicolas Cage should take a break from acting for a bit and find a hobby. After making something like 100 bad movies in the last 10 years, it might do him some good to pause for a bit and recharge his batteries. Maybe he could draw comic books or something, I know he likes those. Just get him and his hair off the screen and let the public forget about him for a while.
Everyone needs a rest now and again. (pic via allmoviephoto.com)
Okay kids, that's going to do it for now. I really was finished with the Whitney Houston clips, I swear, but then Soundgarden singer Chris Cornell decided to pay tribute to her at a fundraiser for President Obama, and there was just no way I was going to pass that up, so check out today's, "Song of the Day," which I'm (pretty) sure will be our final Whitney song (for now.)
Thanks for stopping by, everyone. It was great to see you as always. Have a good day, and come back again soon, so we can do this all over again. Until next time, that's the Clutter, and we are outta here.
Hi everyone,
Happy Sunday to you all. What's the plan for the day? BDH, Little Buddha and I are off to the gym, and then we have a few errands to do after that. Hey, don't be fooled, those two may be small, but they can move the plates. It's pretty amazing. However, we have business to take care of before that, so grab yourself a medium DD, and let's clear out a little Sunday Clutter. Everyone comfortable? Here we go...
First Mitt Romney was attacking Rick Santorum for his pursuit of budget earmarks, even though Mittens had done the same thing. Now Romney's attacking Santorum for working with organized labor in the past, even though, that's right, say it with me now, Romney's done the same thing. However voters feel about earmarks or unions, why should they think they can trust Romney on either issue. The man stands for nothing and looks foolish when he makes attacks like this, given his own multiple positions.
Romney's also managed to anger both the auto industry and the Tea Party with his thoughts on any type of bailout. That's a pretty neat trick to pull off.
Quick quiz: Do you know what it means to be "Spreading Romney?"
I wonder which Republican senator says s/he will call for a new GOP presidential candidate if Mitt Romney loses his home state of Michigan. How remarkable is it that we're even having this conversation about the supposedly-"inevitable" candidate?
Rick Santorum doesn't see the need for public education. It's nothing but them there teachers interferin' with the family, and if we just went back to a nation of home-schoolers like we had 200 years ago, everything would be fine.
In further Santorum news, apparently "Mr. Sweater Vest" also decided that Protestants aren't real Christians. Is that a big deal? Mittens should be punching himself in the face every morning for not being able to beat this guy.
Stop me if you've heard this one before: A rising GOP star, who is aggressively anti-immigrant, is now being accused of threatening his male lover, who's an undocumented Mexican immigrant. Bonus points for the fact that the guy was forced to step down as Mitt Romney's Arizona campaign co-chairman. I wonder if conservatives are more upset with him for being gay or for having a Mexican boyfriend? Republican hypocrisy, it's the gift that keeps on giving.
The tributes and condolences continue to pour in for New York Times reporter Anthony Shadid, who died in Syria on Thursday from an asthma attack.
Anthony Shadid (pic via yahoo.com)
The Massachusetts legislature needs to find a way to prevent MBTA riders from having to bear the full burden of the T's current budget problems. Cutting routes would hurt the state's economy, and dramatically raising fares is essentially a tax hike on middle and lower income people.
There's no way to know for sure, because I'll never try this, but if someone made me drink a bacon milkshake, I'm pretty sure that I would severely vomit for an extended period of time. Pretty sure.
Evening Clutter goes well with a Sam Adams, but let's be clear, alcohol is just as dangerous as other drugs, even though we tend to put it in a "lighter" category than something that comes in pill form and it's a much more widespread problem:
And while 8 percent of Americans ages 12 and over use illicit drugs, 34 percent are addicted to alcohol or indulge in what public health officials consider risky drinking.
Johnson and Johnson recalled yet another product. This time it's infants' Tylenol, due to a defective delivery system.
Spring training has finally officially begun. Of course I'm excited for the start of a new season, as I have been for each of the last 30 years. It's just not the same at Clutter Headquarters without having Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy on the TV. It's going to be a season of transition. I have less of a sense of this year's team than I have had in probably 10 years. The new players need to demonstrate their value, and the returning team needs to show some indication that they won't tank it again like they did last year. Boston sportswriters are all clamoring for public apologies from the players. That would have been nice, but it's clearly not going to happen at this point. I just hope they'll show that dedication on the field, and of course I'll be watching every step of the way...and probably talking about it once in a while here. Let's see what you've got, boys.
Let the games begin. (pic via bleacherreport.com)
Having said that, I still miss Tito and feel bad about how he was thrown under the bus last year. I hope he's able to move on from the horrible end to his Red Sox tenure and finds the happiness he so deserves. I'd much rather keep him and ditch the owners, but I will root for whatever team he manages next and wish him the best of luck.
Are the Oakland A's really going in on Manny Ramirez? Well, the whole point of Moneyball is seeing value where others don't, right?
ESPN apologized for using a racist slur in the headline to an article featuring Jeremy Lin. I wonder who's getting fired for this.
More former football players are suing the NFL for allegedly hiding the dangers of playing with concussions.
Family and friends said goodbye to Whitney Houston yesterday.
In a shocking development, Nicolas Cage's new movie, Ghost Rider, is getting bad reviews.
2012 just keeps getting better and better. First Van Halen released a new album, then spring training started, and just over a month from now, Don Draper will be back:
Okay kids, that's going to do it for now. When you read and watch all of these stories about Whitney Houston this week, the first reactions tend to be, "What a shame/what a mess of a person." I'd rather have that not be the lasting impression, so we're going to take a trip back to the 1993 Billboard Awards. I know we played this same song last Sunday, but watch this live performance and enjoy the power of the woman who was in control of her life, her talent and the audience, and let that be the lasting memory. Here's today's, "Song of the Day."
Thanks for stopping by, everyone. It was great to see you as always. I know tomorrow is a holiday, so you're welcome to come back tonight to hang out if you want. I'll go get some more Sam Adams (to be enjoyed in moderation). Otherwise we'll see you all back here again for more fun on Monday. For now, it's off to the gym for us, so that's the Clutter, and we are outta here.
Hi everyone,
Welcome back, and a happy Friday to you all. That's right, we made it through another week and came out on the other end in one piece. Congratulations to us all! This calls for a medium DD and a little randomness, don't you think? Let's dig in.
It's not a headline from The Onion: The House GOP had a hearing on women's health, and almost no women were allowed to testify. Then we had Rick Santorum's Super Pac sponsor talking about a woman putting an aspirin between her knees for contraception. Oh, those old sexist dudes are so funny. Have the Republicans used some kind of funny math to determine that they can win this fall without women voters? I'd ask how could this possibly get more disrespectful, but they always find a new way to surprise us.
What's wrong with this picture? (pic via Planned Parenthood)
Oh wait, here it is: The Virginia House passed a bill mandating the assault of a woman seeking an abortion by forcing her to submit to a transvaginal ultrasound beforehand. What's next, forced exorcism ceremonies, claiming it's in the woman's best interest? I need a new calendar. Mine says it's 2012, not 1952.
Is Mitt Romney about to have another caucus win taken away from him?
The economic news continues to be bad for Romney as GM posted record profits last year. As far as I can tell, when asked why it would have been better to let the automakers go bankrupt, the general GOP response these days is, "Just 'cause." Don't bet against America, Mittens:
Mitt Romney is blasting Rick Santorum over his pursuit of earmarks while he was a senator. Of course, wait for it, that's right, all together now, Romney's gone after a few earmarks over his career as well.
Rick Santorum is taking it right to Mitt Romney in Romney's home state of Michigan. The next two weeks should be fun to watch. Someone grab the popcorn.
Oh come on, Dave Mustaine, if you're going to back Rick Santorum, go all in, and stop this wishy-washy retraction nonsense. Who else would you support, Ron Paul? Not a chance. This is disappointing. I'd expect this weakness from a hair metal band singer like Poison's Bret Michaels, but Megadeath is supposed to have some courage. Lame.
Congratulations to the New Jersey legislature for passing a bill recognizing marriage equality, and shame on Governor Chris Christie for being in such a rush to be recorded on the wrong side of history.
It's disheartening to see the Obama administration suddenly discover a passion for going after medicinal marijuana growers and users. What a complete waste of resources. Marijuana should be subject to the same laws and restrictions as tobacco and alcohol. This never-ending fraudulent "war" serves no useful purpose, and it distracts the country from real problems.
A new poll gives Senator Scott Brown a 9 point lead over likely challenger Elizabeth Warren. Particularly notable is that Brown leads Warren with independent voters by a margin of 60-28. There's obviously still plenty of time before the election, but it hammers home one of the most fundamental truths in Massachusetts politics: You can never underestimate Scott Brown. People discount him every election cycle, and he keeps on winning. Will the Warren campaign figure out how to break that streak?
It sounds like former Boston Red Sox public affairs guru Dr. Charles Steinberg may be returning to the team in some capacity this year, most likely to help out with the celebrations of Fenway Park's 100th anniversary. My recollection is that Steinberg is a Larry Lucchino ally, and that he and Theo Epstein didn't get along, so it makes sense that he would come back to Boston now that Theo's gone.
The Red Sox signed some pitcher named Ross Ohlendorf to a minor league contract. I don't know anything about him, but first of all, that name is almost in "Benedict Cumberbatch" territory, and second, things worked out pretty well the last time the Red Sox signed a pitcher that was cast off by the Pittsburgh Pirates, so hopefully this signing will also pay off.
Condolences to the family and friends of Hall of Fame baseball catcher Gary Carter, who died yesterday from brain cancer. Carter was only 57 years old. I don't think I ever saw a picture of "The Kid" where he wasn't smiling.
Gary Carter (pic via yahoo.com)
If you're a Miami Heat fan, how excited are you to read stories of LeBron James talking about returning to Cleveland someday? Though, if you're a Heat fan, you're a poser anyway, so maybe you don't care, and that's why James feels free to talk about this in public.
No official explanation has been given for why The Colbert Report shut down its tapings for the rest of this week, but I hope everything is okay.
Doctor Who alum/British comedienne Catherine Tate made her return to The Office last night and within the first 30 seconds was the best thing that's happened on the show all year.
Okay kids, that's going to do it for now. We've got Mitt Romney trying to find some love in Michigan, and LeBron James dreaming of Cleveland, so let's have Motley Crue take them (and the rest of us) Home, Sweet, Home for today's, "Song of the Day."
Thanks for stopping by, everyone. We hope you've enjoyed your time here as much as we've enjoyed hanging out with you. Our home is always open to you, so stop by whenever you like. You know where to find the DD and Sam Adams if we're not here, so just make yourselves comfortable. Until next time, that's the Clutter, and we are outta here.
Hi everyone,
Welcome back. How's your week going? What's the plan for the weekend? No one got much sleep at Clutter Headquarters last night, so we have an extra large pot of coffee ready today. Feel free to help yourself to a medium or large DD, and then let's clear out some Thursday Clutter.
Move over, Chuck Norris. Rick Santorum now has the coolest endorser ever: Megadeath guitarist Dave Mustaine. I expect the Megadeath classic, Symphony of Destruction, to be played at every Santorum event going forward.
The idea of Mitt Romney losing the Michigan primary has to be the same level disaster as Al Gore losing Tennessee in 2000. If Gore had won his home state, no one ever would have heard of a "hanging chad." If Mittens loses his home turf, wouldn't that shatter his claim of being the "inevitable" candidate? I don't know how anyone can vote for someone whose own dog ran away from him. If your dog doesn't approve of you, neither will I.
President Obama's approval rating is back to 50%, he holds a sizeable lead over all of his potential opponents, and people are feeling better about the economy. Guess there's only one thing left for the GOP to do: Crank up the tired culture war to 11 and claim that if we re-elect the socialist secret Muslim, the gays will be trying to convert teens to adopt their radical agenda, and these conversion ceremonies will take place in churches and they'll throw free contraception at everyone who objects. I can see the TV ads now.
The GOP brags that they agreed to the payroll tax cut extension in exchange for cutting funding for preventative health care and to help Louisiana continue to recover from Hurricane Katrina. You have to give this to Republicans, they leave no doubt where they stand on the issues.
The next generation of Camelot begins today as Joseph Kennedy III (Robert Kennedy's grandson) formally announced that he is running to replace retiring-Representative Barney Frank in the MA 4th Congressional District.
If you're going to rob a bank, you probably don't want to do it while a cop is using the ATM outside. Seriously, the suspect, a homeless man who allegedly told the officer to shoot him, sounds like a sad case.
You can't accuse The Heart Attack Grill of not living up to its name.
Truth in advertising. (pic via nydailynews.com)
There are already reports of players grumbling under new Boston Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine's more intense spring training camp. There's not a single player on this team (except Dustin Pedroia and maybe Jacoby Ellsbury) who's earned the right to complain about anything this year. Maybe Valentine will still end up being a nightmare for everyone, but for right now, the players should just shut up, nod their heads and do their jobs.
Just throw the ball, Josh. (pic via bostonherald.com)
Boston Celtics announcer Greg Dickerson battles Tourette syndrome, OCD and epilepsy? Good for him for coming forward and telling his story. I'll bet that will be particularly inspiring to any little kids who are Celtics fans who also have to deal with any of those issues. Cheers.
A new report says Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning actually had a 4th procedure on his neck earlier this year. The alarm bells seem to be getting louder and louder here.
Remember that one day when we thought Albert Haynesworth would be a good player for the New England Patriots? That seems like years ago.
Was the investigation of Lance Armstrong suddenly closed due to political pressures?
A Different Kind of Truth is now Van Halen's 14th consecutive top 10 album. The CD came in at #2 this week. It would have been #1 if not for that damn Adele. Damn you, Adele! (shaking angry fist) Still, that's not bad for a group of guys who haven't released an album together in almost three decades. Not bad at all!
Storming the charts again. (pic via ew.com)
If Bill Murray is out for Ghostbusters 3, then so am I. Solidarity, brother.
Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Kate Upton looks like she's actually eaten a real meal before, and that makes her Clutter-endorsed.
Okay kids, that's going to do it for now. We clearly need to let Rick Santorum's new buddy Dave Mustaine take us out with today's, "Song of the Day." I want you to listen to the song and imagine Rick Santorum walking into a room of supporters (wearing his sweater vest, of course), arms outstretched, indicating everyone should go crazy, as the line, "Just like the pied piper, led rats through the street," blares over the loudspeakers.
You know that would be the greatest visual ever. Mittens would drop out on the spot, because who's going to take on THAT? Santorum should give it some thought, because Megadeath is playing before a much larger crowd in this clip than he's ever going to get by himself. Check it out:
Thanks for stopping by, everyone. It was great to see you as always. Come back soon, and we'll do it all over again. For now, today's Clutter has been cleared.
Hi everyone,
Welcome back. A very happy Wednesday to you all. Who had a good Valentine's Day? Who doesn't want to talk about it? BDH had a very nice birthday, thank you all so much for your good wishes. Little Buddha has started asking about his birthday party, but I had to remind him that his birthday isn't until this fall. He seemed accepting of that, as he does of all things. Okay, enough with the birthday talk. Grab yourself a medium DD, and let's clear out a little Clutter.
It looks like no one wants to fight over payroll tax cuts, unemployment benefits, or Medicare cuts in an election year, as Democrats and Republicans seem to have come to an agreement on all three issues. I'm confused, policy can be advanced without threatening to shut down the government?
The Obama administration recovered a record $4.1 billion in health care fraud money last year. I expect this to somehow turn into a GOP claim that the administration has done nothing on this front.
Mitt Romney's problems continue, as a new poll shows his favorability is dropping with GOP voters. That's the price to pay when you're seen as an inconsistent politician who can't win a primary without drowning his opponents in negative ads. That would seem to be why Romney's in so much trouble in his home state of Michigan right now.
Maybe I'm being too hard on Mittens. Let's see what this new ad from a pro-Romney Super PAC has to say:
Here we have Rick Santorum's tasteful response:
As pressure grows for Maine to reconsider the results of their recent caucus, I'd like someone to make a move to reconsider the usefulness of caucuses in general, because they're not smelling like roses so far this year.
Elizabeth Warren ripped into Senator Scott Brown for Brown's support of a proposed radical anti-choice bill that would allow any employer to deny coverage for contraception in their health insurance plans if they find it objectionable. As out-of-touch with the mainstream as this bill is, Brown's support is actually a consistent position for him. He sought to weaken the now-state law that would have required all hospitals to inform rape survivors about the existence of emergency contraception and to provide it upon request when he was a state senator.
Meanwhile, the very notion that the GOP would go all-out with their attempts to turn the clock back 50 years on such a basic issue as birth control just highlights the fact that now that the economy is improving, they have nothing else to work with except for hoping culture wars will come through for them again.
I'm sorry, what is this Mormon custom of posthumously baptizing people of other faiths? Does that mean I can convert every Mormon to an atheist after they die?
I'm a bit of a gym rat, but it's not because I need huge muscles popping through my shirt like The Rock. It's because I need to keep this large brain powered to keep clearing through all this Clutter that accumulates each day. Can you imagine what would happen if this gigantic head wasn't operating at peak performance? It would be chaos! Yeah, that's the ticket. Chaos!
Justin Bieber's not my cup of tea, but cheers to the singer for making a sick young girl's dream come true.
Now that David Ortiz is set with his contract for 2012, ESPN's Tim Kurkjian explains Big Papi's value to the Boston Red Sox:
Legendary Boston Globe sport columnist Bob Ryan will be retiring later this year. That will be the end of an era in local sports.
The Tampa Bay Rays signed manager Joe Maddon to a new three year deal. Given what a great job Maddon does with that team, he should have the option of coming back every year for the next 10 years.
We all know the odds are pretty good that Peyton Manning isn't coming back to the Indianapolis Colts next year, so there was really no reason for Colts owner Jim Irsay to throw Manning under the bus by saying it's entirely the quarterback's decision. The more Irsay speaks, the longer I think it will take the team to become a viable contender again.
Just stop talking. (pic via bleacherreport.com)
Singer/scumbag Chris Brown doesn't care if you don't approve of him, because he's got a Grammy now, so he wins.
Okay kids, that's going to do it for now. We had a new theme song for Rick Santorum, what last week? I think it's time to choice one for Mittens this week. Adele is the talk of the town after her terrific performance at the Grammys on Sunday, so perhaps this cover of hers would be a good fit for the Romney campaign. Check out today's, "Song of the Day" and tell us what you think:
Thanks for stopping by, everyone. It was great to see you as always. Today's going to be a low-key day at Clutter Headquarters after yesterday's rager for BDH, but you're welcome to hang out with us if you like. Otherwise, we'll see you for more fun in the sun tomorrow. For now, today's Clutter is cleared.
Hi everyone,
Welcome back, how are you? Come on in. What does this week look like for you? Clutter Headquarters is buzzing with excitement over BDH's birthday tomorrow. Little Buddha and I are going to make him a little cake, and we got him a little Red Sox shirt. He wants tickets for the Van Halen show at the Garden on March 11th, but I had to explain to him that he's not old enough for that yet. So, if you were planning on getting him said tickets, I'll be happy to accept them on his behalf. In the meantime, grab yourself a nice medium DD, and let's clear out some Monday Clutter.
As the GOP presidential candidates try to paint "Romneycare" as an "abject failure", the fact is that the law has successfully provided 500,000 Massachusetts residents with health care insurance. There's still work to be done on cost control, and Governor Patrick has made that a priority, but no matter how much national Republicans want to claim otherwise, the state's health care reform law has been a successful model that the rest of the country can follow. It's amazing that we live in a world where a state can pass a successful policy like this, and one of its chief architects is forced to disavow it at every turn.
There isn't that much going on this week, as far as presidential primaries go, so Mitt Romney has more time to continue his ongoing quest to convince Republican voters that he's conservative, even though he has failed to make the case for four years now.
President Obama will release his FY 2013 budget today. His plan would let the Bush-tax cuts expire for people making over $250,000, raise money from large financial institutions to help off-set TARP costs, and increase infrastructure investments in little things like schools. The chances of his budget passing this year are somewhere between, "no way," and "not a chance." However, it gives President Obama to contrast his view of governing with an opposition who just chants "tax cuts" and "no birth control" on an endless loop.
There's still a few hours left before the Boston Red Sox and David Ortiz have their arbitration hearing. It would be nice if they could come to a compromise before then (and continue the Red Sox 10 year-long streak of avoiding these hearings.) My guess is that Big Papi will win the hearing if it comes to that, but I hope we won't have to hear about him pouting if the decision goes the team's way. The last thing this team needs is to start this season with more player drama.
We can work it out. (pic via soxanddawgs.com)
Is former slugger/pioneer steroids whistle-blower Jose Canseco really attempting a comeback? I don't know what to root for here. I can't imagine he's still got an ability to perform at a major league level, and he's completely nuts, but I have this vision of him returning to the Oakland A's, where he and possible teammate Manny Ramirez would be a pairing of the ages. This whole thing has "car wreck" written all over it.
What could possibly go wrong? (pic via businessinsider.com)
Boston Celtics head coach Doc Rivers ripped the team's poor performance last Friday, and Rajon Rondo and crew responded by defeating the Chicago Bulls 95-91 yesterday. Apparently Doc should pull a nutty a little more often.
I popped in and out of the Grammy awards last night, but the show seemed incredibly uneven to me. Adele did a great job with her comeback performance after throat surgery, Jennifer Hudson moved the audience with her tribute to Whitney Houston, and it was gutsy for Glen Campbell to perform before such a large audience, given that he's suffering from Alzheimer's, but I could have missed most of the rest of it. It seemed like almost everyone else was lip-syncing, and the show felt like it was never going to end, and that's even with me turning off the TV with 30 minutes to go. What really killed any interest was watching woman-abuser Chris Brown be treated like a hero after his performance.
Okay kids, that's going to do it for now. I think we'll let Adele take us out with today's, "Song of the Day," at least until the Grammys take this clip off the Internet, so enjoy it while you can:
Thanks for stopping by, everyone. It was great to see you as always. Have a good Monday, and don't forget to come back tomorrow. We'll have cake for everyone! Until then, that's the Clutter, and we're outta here.
Hi everyone,
Welcome back. How are you? It's cold out there! I'm sorry I don't have any hot cocoa to help you warm up. Would you like some tea? Of course, we always have coffee at Clutter Headquarters. Why don't you help yourself to a nice medium DD, and we'll get down to business. Sound like a plan? Okay, here we go...
It's fall of 1992...or maybe the beginning of 1993. I'm in a car in upstate New York with my friends Vanessa and Johanna. I forget where we're heading, but I'm listening to the two of them are singing along to, "I Have Nothing Without You," from The Bodyguard soundtrack for maybe the 400th time. They're tormenting me, and they both know it. We get to the start of the chorus for the third time, and they combine with the song to hit a note that I'm sure is going to break all of the windows in the car, and I debate whether I can throw myself out of the car without significant injury, but alas, I remain, and we listen to the song once again. Life is hard.
It's a story that brings a smile to my face every time I think about it, and it was the first thing that came to mind when I heard that Whitney Houston died at age 48 yesterday. The cause of death is currently unknown, but it's a story that's more sad than surprising. Houston's substance abuse struggles and her rocky marriage to Bobby Brown are well-documented, but she had such a voice and superstar presence when everything was going her way. She will be missed.
(pic via instyle.com)
Mitt Romney narrowly defeated Ron Paul by three points (39-36%) in yesterday's Maine caucuses, where Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich didn't campaign, so...he's got to be feeling good about that.
Mittens also won the straw poll at the CPAC convention on Saturday. Rick Santorum, who came in second, had a classy response. I hope this show goes on for a few more months. I just can't turn away, no matter how hard I try.
Showing that their supposed defense of religious liberty was a false issue, the GOP goes all-in on the war against birth control and says they'll fight to allow any employer to deny contraceptive coverage.
There was a four alarm fire in the neighborhood, but I'm relieved to here that no one was killed. I wondered why it seemed smoky this morning.
Wth the start of spring training just a week away, the GOP presidential primaries might be over before the Boston Red Sox and Chicago Cubs finally settle the issue of compensation for Theo Epstein. The Red Sox are set up for serious criticism here if they don't get a significant player or two after all this.
Speaking of spring training, the first televised Red Sox game is right around the corner when the Sox take on Boston College on March 3rd. It should be a real nail-biter!
Okay, what's your guess, Clutterheads. Did Bill Belichick wear a hoodie while he golfed at the Pebble Beach Pro-Am? The answer is right here.
Reports indicate that (soon-to-be-ex) Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning still has a long way to go before he could compete on the field again.
Okay kids, that's going to do it for now. In honor of Whitney Houston, (and as a shout out to Vanessa and Johanna), I think we'll close out with a little track that you may have heard once or twice in your life for today's, "Song of the Day."
Thanks for stopping by, my friends. It was great to see you as always. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, and we'll see you back here again for more fun soon. For now, today's Clutter has been cleared.
