How are you? BDH, Little Buddha and I are thrilled to see you. I mean, we're always happy to see you, but it didn't look like we were going to be able to hang out today. However, a window of opportunity opened, and there you are! This calls for coffee. Help yourself to a nice medium DD, and let's clear out a little Thursday Clutter.
Former baseball slugger/steroid user/reality TV show star Jose Canseco has always been an easy target to make fun of. However, there's nothing funny about his Twitter harassment of a woman who may have filed sexual assault charges against him.
Speaking of Twitter, they're releasing a new security measure to protect users against cyber-attacks.
Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke says he's not changing his efforts to help the economy anytime soon. Isn't it nice to have a public official who is actually focused on doing something and not just making a lot of noise?
It's clear that Clutter doesn't agree with the Vatican on policy issues anyway, but the simple fact that they have to improve their anti-money laundering efforts doesn't inspire us to be any more inclined to listen to them about anything.
Wait, a Republican governor is going to support Medicaid expansion under Obamacare? I wonder how much longer he'll be allowed to stay in the GOP?
I have no idea what happened with this guy the FBI shot and killed after he was connected to one of the Boston Marathon bombers, but my guess is that the story will change 2-3 more times before we hear a final version.
I know he'll be wearing a Cleveland Indians uniform, but I look forward to Terry Francona's return home to Fenway Park. I'll be shocked if the Fenway faithful give him anything besides a standing ovation. Don't let me down, guys. No matter where the game takes him from here on out, Tito will always be one of our guys.
It's great to hear that Boston Red Sox catcher David Ross is apparently just about ready to come back from the concussion disabled list. He's a great presence for the team, and hopefully he won't miss a beat after this time off.
The Boston Bruins are on such a roll after taking a 3-0 series lead against the New York Rangers that even my friend who is a Rangers fan can't bring himself to try to talk trash.
NFL linebacker Brian Urlacher is calling it quits after 13 years with the Chicago Bears. My favorite memory of Urlacher will be the time that Tom Brady (he of the legs of concrete) faked him out with one of the slowest moves in the history of football. Seriously, Urlacher had a great career, and I'm not convinced he made this decision entirely on his own after being released by Chicago. I know he had a number of injuries during his career, so Clutter wishes him good health going forward.
(I feel like this clip was sped up, but here's the play I'm talking about.)
Clutter sees no reason why the New Jersey Jets should be taken seriously as long as Mark Sanchez remains the quarterback.
Are you looking for a new Man of Steel trailer? Clutter is here for you, my friends. Enjoy:
Here is an interesting look at how the stars of the upcoming Arrested Development revival are being paid.
Out of the darkness, Paris Hilton doth return. What's she up to now, and will anyone care?
What's this all about? (pic via wikimedia.org)
Okay kids, that's going to do it for now. It was so much fun to hang out today, we wish we could give you all a big hug. However, that's not going to work, so hopefully this "Clip of the Day" featuring some bulldog puppies will do:
Thanks for coming by, everyone. You know you're welcome anytime at Clutter Headquarters. Enjoy the rest of your day, and we'll see you back here again for more fun soon. For now, that's today's Clutter, and we are outta here.