Come on in. Welcome back, come on in. How's your week going so far? Sorry we're moving a little slowly here this morning. Last night was a crazy evening. Long story short, Jacoby Ellsbury and I now share something in common: We've both been injured by Adrian Beltre. However, we'll get to that in a second. For now, help yourself to a nice medium DD (I might have to throw some Jameson Whiskey in mine), and let's clear out some Wednesday Clutter.
Yesterday was a quiet day at Clutter Headquarters, until I received a text from my friend Chris Condon saying he had an extra ticket to last night's Boston Red Sox game and asked if I wanted to go. I think I've said no to that question maybe twice in 30 years. We met up right before game time, settled into his friend's great seats (first row of the center field bleachers/five seats away from the NESN cameras), and watched the Red Sox get off to a 2-0 lead against the Texas Rangers. There was an extremely annoying couple behind us, but other than that, so far, so good.
And then the roof collapsed. I know, Fenway doesn't have a roof, but trust me, it collapsed.
Jon Lester and the rest of the Boston bullpen combined to give up 21 hits (including 6 home runs) as the Texas Rangers demolished the Red Sox 18-3, and the game never really felt even that close. It didn't help that a number of the Red Sox seemed to struggle with the idea of catching and throwing the ball, with Cody Ross dropping a fly ball in left field, and Mike Aviles just having a rough night in general.
The highlight of the game came in the 8th inning when Red Sox reliever Mark Melancon (he of the 49.50 ERA) gave up a shot to Texas Rangers third baseman Adrian Beltre. It took all of three seconds to realize that his home run was coming directly for us. Everyone stood up with their hands out, so I lost track of the ball and was just hoping it wouldn't hit me in the face. The ball smacked off of my left hand at full force and then bounced to the left. As I turned away to wince, Chris dove for the ball, hitting his head in the process. The baseball ended up bouncing to one of the more annoying men in the area, which felt unfair.
The rest of the game is a blur at that point, as I tried to figure out if my hand was broken, and Chris tried to establish whether or not he gave himself a concussion, but apparently the Red Sox gave up a few more runs after that for good measure. Good stuff. However, despite the throbbing pain going through my arm right now, I'm still here to deliver the randomness, because I'm just that devoted to you, Clutterheads. It may take a little longer than usual to type this, but we'll get there, I swear!
(You can click here to watch this little adventure play out.)
So, now it's up to Josh Beckett to try to turn things around tonight. Not only do the Red Sox need a win, but the bullpen could use a night off to try to regain their bearings after Texas teed off on them like they were Little League pitchers.
It was a long night at the park for Boston. (pic via bostonglobe.com)
Okay, moving on, what else do we have to discuss?
Legendary investor Warren Buffett revealed yesterday that he has been diagnosed with Stage 1 prostate cancer. Buffett insists that the diagnosis won't slow him down a bit.
As he continues to desperately try to reveal as little as possible about his finances, Mitt Romney cited John Kerry as another presidential candidate who only released two years worth of tax returns. The only problem with that is...say it with me...that's not true.
The GOP has made it perfectly clear that they never cared about deficit reduction in the first place. The agenda has always been protecting the top 1% and then cutting services for those who need them.
Congratulations to 49 year old Colorado Rockies pitcher Jamie Moyer who became the oldest man to win a game in Major League Baseball history yesterday as the Rockies beat the San Diego Padres 5-3 yesterday. Wow, I was in junior high school when Moyer made his big league debut 25 years ago.
Shock jock Howard Stern lost his $300 million lawsuit against his employer Sirius XM Radio. I'm guessing he still won't be living paycheck to paycheck.
Okay kids, that's going to do it for now. I need to go get another cup of coffee and find some Advil to help me ignore the dull ache in my hand and arm, so let's have the Foo Fighters wrap things up with today's, "Song of the Day."
Yeah, that's better. Thanks for stopping by, everyone. It was great to see you as always. Enjoy the rest of your day, and come back soon so we can do this all over again. Until next time, that's today's Clutter, and we are outta here.