Welcome back. How are you? Come on in and make yourself comfortable. I was thinking about something yesterday afternoon. You know I'm always happy to offer you a coffee or Sam Adams (depending on what time you're stopping by), but do you want something to eat too? It's kind of rude to me not to offer some food, but what would you like? I'm open to suggestions, so drop me a line at email@example.com, let me know what you want, and BDH, Little Buddha and I will be happy to do a food shopping. Until then, help yourself to a medium DD, and let's clear out a little Tuesday Clutter.
The Boston Red Sox nailed down their first win of the season last night, beating the Toronto Blue Jays 4-2, and there was much rejoycing throughout the land. It was a solid win with everyone doing his job. Dustin Pedroia put the Sox on the board with a home run in the 6th inning, and then he started the 9th inning rally with a double that eventually led to him scoring the tying run. Big Papi tried to get things going with an attempted stolen base in the 7th inning. Yes, I said attempted stolen base. He was out, but it was a close play. Papi's got some underrated speed when he gets going.
The pitching was also solid, so hopefully we can relax just a bit. Felix Dubront did a good job, giving up only four hits and two runs in five innings, though it would be nice to see him take longer to get to 100 pitches. Scott Atchison pitched like a man who refuses to go back to the minor leagues this year, just cutting through the Toronto lineup, allowing only one hit in three innings, and Alfredo Aceves came in for an uneventful 9th, and that was that. I don't think Red Sox fans have ever been so happy for a 1-3 start. Now, it's the show we've all been waiting for, as Daniel Bard makes his first official start tonight. Here's hoping he leads the team to its first winning streak of 2012.
The Laser Show is back! (pic via boston.com)
Facebook set the world abuzz yesterday with the news that it is buying Instagram for $1 billion, because the one thing Facebook is missing is pictures. Everyone here at Clutter Headquarters would like to put Mark Zuckerberg on notice and let him know that Clutter is not for sale. You can't put a price on this kind of commentary, entertainment and randomness. Th0ugh really, we're more likely to get an offer from our nemesis, Good Housekeeping. I'm sure those guys are still mad that they had to spend resources to reclaim the top listing for when you Google, "clearing out the clutter." I would have loved to have heard that discussion.
Hey, we provide the free Clutter! (pic via igossip.com)
The GOP War on Women continues without pause, this time in Wisconsin, where Governor Scott Walker signed a bill repealing the state's equity pay law, which was designed to give groups greater ability to challenge workplace wage discrimination. Mitt Romney has been a strong support of Governor Walker's as he faces a recall election in June. Mittens should speak up and clearly state whether or not he agrees with this move.
President Obama is inching forward on marriage equality, as his campaign announced he opposes the anti-marriage ballot question that will be voted on in Minnesota in November.
Congratulations to Elizabeth Warren's U.S. Senate campaign which raised $6.9 million in the first quarter of 2012. That's more than double what incumbent Senator Scott Brown raised during the same period.
Score one for Boston Mayor Tom Menino, as the FCC restored local regulation of basic cable rates in Boston, because Comcast has a monopoly on the city.
Will you remember where you were the day Microsoft Vista died? Me neither.
Congratulations to Boston Red Sox general manager Ben Cherington who got married on Friday. Cheers.
The Dallas Mavericks have cut their ties with Lamar Odom after a disappointing season. This better not mean that he and wife Khloe Kardashian are even thinking about coming to Boston.
Don't care where you go, but you can't come here. (pic via usmagazine.com)
As expected, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell denied Sean Payton's appeal of his one-year suspension because of the bounty program run by the New Orleans Saints. Goodell's claims of putting player safety first still ring a bit hollow as long as he continues to push for an 18-game schedule, but he really had no other choice here. Next up, handing out the punishment for the players. That's going to be ugly.
Yesterday was the 30th anniversary of the infamous professional wrestling match between Jerry "The King" Lawler and actor Andy Kaufman. You really have to read this recap, because it does a much better job of explaining the entire story than I could, but Sacha Baron Cohen can only dream of coming up with such an elaborate and captivating stunt. Pure comedic brilliance.
How I Met Your Mother finally returned last night, and it was...okay. Not a lot of plot development (with one notable exception I won't spoil here: Hint: It happens in three years.), but the basic point that life often doesn't go as planned, for good or bad, is always useful. We'll give this episode a B.
Okay kids, that's going to do it for now. In case you didn't read the Andy Kaufman link, go back and read that first so you can fully appreciate the context of this clip of Jerry Lawler and him on Late Night with David Letterman. See if you can spot the two moments where Letterman must have lost control of his bladder during what ended up being one of the all time classic moments on his show. One warning, the language here is absolutely not suitable for work. Check out today's, "Clip of the Day."
In case you had any doubt, yes, the entire argument was pre-arranged by Kaufman and Lawler, though no one told Letterman that. Just awesome.
Thanks for stopping by, everyone. It was great to see you as always. Have a good rest of your day, and let us know what you want for snacks. We aim to please and entertain here at Clutter Headquarters. Until next time, that's today's Clutter, and we are outta here.